I'm old but I'm sure not dead! Being divorced going on 10 years, romance and companionship is something I still like and need, even at my advanced age of 37! My two teen daughters date, so why can't Mom?
I feel like I'm living back home again, living with my parents. When a guy comes to pick me up for a date, my girls need to know everything about him, where I met him, where we are going, when I will be home, and on and on and on. And the questions just continue after I get home; did I kiss him? Did I have fun? Am I going to go out with him again? I am beginning to feel that I'm 13 again and not 37.
Probably the most embarrassing moment for me came at breakfast about a year ago, when my now 17 year old decided to talk to me about me being on birth control. Now there are some things that kids should not ask their parents, even though we know it is our job to have these discussions with our children. But being the open, liberal, willing to talk about anything Mom that I am, I did advise her that yes I have taken care of that part of my romantic life, and no she doesn't have to worry about waking up one morning to the announcement that she's having a baby brother or sister. Having this discussion with my daughter was in the category of the "Ewwww factor" but then I realized that first of all she was concerned about me and second of all I have raised her to be honest and forthright with her feelings.
My whole point in this posting is that, we want our kids to be open and honest with us, and we in return need to be open and honest with them. Sometimes the questions we get may be uncomfortable but we never know what will come out of our kids mouths. So if this ever happens to you, Bite your tongue, don't let them see you sweat and most of all be honest.
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Monday, March 5, 2012
Teenagers in Love?
"Mom, I think I'm in love," is a statement that sends chills through many parents bodies, but whether your child is 16 or 26 it can and does happen. Love can strike a teenager just as it can this 37 year old woman writing this blog. It's the feeling people get when they think about another person all the time, when the skin is covered with goosebumps just seeing that person, and the stomach begins to churn with that soft touch.
Love may not be the same at 16 years old as it is at my advanced age, but nonetheless it is a feeling that hopefully we all have experienced and will continue to experience thoughout our lives. When our teens say these words, we should embrace their feelings and understand that they are becoming young adults. Talk to your teen, ask them what they think "love" means and what it means to them. It may only be a one week love or a one month love, but it also could be a love that lasts for several years or even longer.
Does love mean sex? Not always! Depending on your teenager, love may not be anymore than holding hands or a soft kiss. Love may just mean they want to enjoy each others company and want to feel or have an emotional bond with the other person. But yes, sometimes love does lead to sex OMG! and if it does, it does not mean that the world has ended. All that means is your teen is embracing their own sexuality and hopefully we as parents have guided them, educated them and laid the proper foundation for them to take this step into young adulthood.
In today's world it is possible to have safe sex, and if you don't believe me ask any trusted gynocologist. Most forms of birth control are 98% effective, and typically the other 2% is from incorrect usage. As my Dr. says, the proper use of birth control along with the proper use of condoms is an almost rock solid guarantee that a pregnancy will not result.
I am by no means advocating that teenagers have sex, but I also am a realist, knowing that many teens do fall in love and do end up in a physical relationship.
So when your teenage daughter or son comes to you and says that they are in love, don't fear it, but embrace it and trust that you have guided them and educated them over the years, to make the healthiest and safest choices as they begin their journey into young adulthood. Love is a truly wonderful and amazing feeling at 16 and at 37.
Love may not be the same at 16 years old as it is at my advanced age, but nonetheless it is a feeling that hopefully we all have experienced and will continue to experience thoughout our lives. When our teens say these words, we should embrace their feelings and understand that they are becoming young adults. Talk to your teen, ask them what they think "love" means and what it means to them. It may only be a one week love or a one month love, but it also could be a love that lasts for several years or even longer.
Does love mean sex? Not always! Depending on your teenager, love may not be anymore than holding hands or a soft kiss. Love may just mean they want to enjoy each others company and want to feel or have an emotional bond with the other person. But yes, sometimes love does lead to sex OMG! and if it does, it does not mean that the world has ended. All that means is your teen is embracing their own sexuality and hopefully we as parents have guided them, educated them and laid the proper foundation for them to take this step into young adulthood.
In today's world it is possible to have safe sex, and if you don't believe me ask any trusted gynocologist. Most forms of birth control are 98% effective, and typically the other 2% is from incorrect usage. As my Dr. says, the proper use of birth control along with the proper use of condoms is an almost rock solid guarantee that a pregnancy will not result.
I am by no means advocating that teenagers have sex, but I also am a realist, knowing that many teens do fall in love and do end up in a physical relationship.
So when your teenage daughter or son comes to you and says that they are in love, don't fear it, but embrace it and trust that you have guided them and educated them over the years, to make the healthiest and safest choices as they begin their journey into young adulthood. Love is a truly wonderful and amazing feeling at 16 and at 37.
An Introduction
Being a 37 year old English teacher I have always enjoyed writing and now I am finally attempting to become a blogger Ha! I am a single mom of two daughters who are 17 and 15 and are my inspiration for blogging. My parenting philosophy is probably more liberal than most but I believe that we all parent the best that we know how. So buckle up and I hope you enjoy the reading as much as I think I will enjoy the writing. Peace and Love, Terri
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